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On a recent jaunt with dog friend Hannah I was lamenting a moment of failure and shame. The old voices took their cue and started in on with no mercy.

This isn't going to work.
Who thought you could do this?
Why don't you just get out now and save a shred of dignity?
Why waste your time? No one appreciates you.

And then this song came up on the iPod shuffle from a group called Sanctus Real.

Well the past is playing with my head
And failure knocks me down again
I'm reminded of the wrong
That I have said and done
And that devil just won't let me forget

The next admission is slightly embarrassing. My reaction reminded me of comedian Ron White when he thought a televangelist was speaking directly to him as he watched from a beanbag chair. "Hey…these guys are GOOD!"

The chorus from the song I'm Forgiven was the message I needed to hear. Again.

I'm forgiven
I'm forgiven
And I don't have to carry
The weight of who I've been
Cause I'm forgiven

You know what is so cool about the Word (Jesus) becoming flesh? He understands our experience. Jesus had to deal with the voice of the devil. Three times He was tempted by Satan (Matthew 4).

All of us hear those voices. The voices from bad experiences in our past. Here is a little tip that I have learned. The voice we tend to hear first in the spiritual battle is the loud one. Listen for the quiet voice. Be still. Pray. Read His Word. The voice of grace says, "You are forgiven." The voice of grace reminds you that those old accusations were crucified with Christ. They are no longer true about you. The voice of grace tells you that you are righteous because of Christ. My friends at Truefaced ministries say it well. Those voices of past sin and failures and hurt are no longer who you are. God is no longer interested in changing you. You have already been changed into a new person because of Christ. You are a Saint. Imputed with righteousness. God is now interested in each one of us maturing into what is already true about us.

That requires learning which voices to listen to and believe. The voice of grace reminds you that…

…there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. And because you belong to Him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you... (Romans 8, NLT)

There is a wonderful phrase found in the last stanza of Forgiven that I guarantee you the enemy never wants me or you to hear and especially to believe.

When I don't fit in and I don't feel like I belong anywhere
When I don't measure up to much in this life
Oh, I'm a treasure in the arms of Christ ‘cause
I'm forgiven

I'm a treasure in the arms of Christ. Wow. I am going to place that phrase on my mirror and dashboard and fridge and heart. And to those other voices I respectfully remind you that you can stifle yourself. That is not who I am anymore. I'm forgiven.

Why me Lord? I suspect that most of us have cried out to God with that question. And I would also guess that ninety-nine percent of the time we are asking God why some trial or affliction has come our way that we feel is undeserved.

The same question has been asked throughout history. “Why me Lord? Why me?”

A song by Kris Kristofferson cycled up on the iPod today and reminded me of a better perspective. I have loved Kristofferson’s song “Why Me?” since I was a young believer and, if you do the math, you realize that I am not so young a believer anymore. The truth is I am still trying to apply the wisdom of these lyrics.

Why me Lord, what have I ever done
To deserve even one
Of the pleasures I've known
Tell me Lord, what did I ever done
That was worth loving you
Or the kindness you've shown

So true. What have I done to deserve even one of His blessings? I did not deserve forgiveness. That was a gift of grace from a loving God. I did not deserve to be born in the United States into incredible comfort, religious freedom and opportunity. I did not deserve to be born healthy and semi-intelligent when others live with chronic affliction and mental illness. Those things were blessings that I received without complaining to my Creator.

The why me Lord question we so often ask should have an entirely different focus.

Why me Lord? What have I done to deserve your blessing?

It is true that some seem to suffer a disproportionate amount of affliction and difficulty. It doesn’t seem fair. The theology that faithful Christians will experience nonstop prosperity, perfect health and green lights at every intersection is a lie from the pit of Hell. Suffering is a part of the process that God uses to refine our faith and ultimately to glorify Him.

My high school basketball coach was a winner and a great teacher. I remember Coach Tom Cuppett yelling at me. A lot. It seemed I could never do anything right. We would run a play and the whistle would blow. “Burchett….what are you doing?” Then he would grab me and the other forwards and walk us through what was supposed to happen. After my senior season Coach Cuppett called me in to his office.

“I have to let you in on something. Remember how I always yelled at you and walked you through the plays?” He asked.
I responded with a smile. “Pretty hard to forget that you can’t do anything right.”
“The truth is that most of the time it was Jimmy (not real name) who messed up and not you. He couldn’t take the criticism and you could. So I yelled at you and then grabbed him and walked him through the plays with you so he would learn without losing his confidence.”
“It would have been nice to know why I was the target so often.”
“I couldn’t tell you at the time. But I trusted you to keep going. And you did. Your ability to handle adversity made him and our team better.”

The lesson never left. I trusted a good coach and accepted what I had to endure to achieve our goal of winning. Later I found out that I had gained honor is his eyes by trusting him even when things didn’t seem “fair”. How much more so can I trust a God who loved me enough to offer grace when I was completely without merit? What if that trial is given to me because God deems me able to remain steadfast and through that faithfulness He will be glorified? What if I get called into God’s office someday and find out that He gave me the gift of trials to reflect His glory and now my rewards will far exceed that temporary pain? If I can trust an earthly coach then I can certainly trust my Heavenly Father with all of me.

Kristofferson writes about what many of us regret.

Lord help me Jesus, I've wasted it so
Help me Jesus I know what I am
Now that I know that I've need you so
Help me Jesus, my soul's in your hand

That is the amazing thing about our God of redemption and second chances. It is never too late to start trusting and living in His grace. It starts with believing your real identity. Henri Nouwen says it well.

“You can deal with an enormous amount of success as well as an enormous amount of failure without losing your identity, because your identity is that you are the beloved. Long before your father and mother, your brothers and sisters, your teachers, your church, or any people touched you in a loving as well as in a wounding way-long before you were rejected by some person or praised by somebody else-that voice has been there always. "I have loved you with an everlasting love." That love is there before you were born and will be there after you die.”

Paul wrote this to the Church at Ephesus.

Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure. So we praise God for the glorious grace he has poured out on us who belong to his dear Son.He is so rich in kindness and grace that he purchased our freedom with the blood of his Son and forgave our sins. He has showered his kindness on us, along with all wisdom and understanding.  (Ephesians 1, NLT)

Believing that makes it possible to ask “why me” in a very different way.

John Mellencamp's song Small Town is, in many ways, my story. I was born in a small town. I have since moved to the big town but I am still a small town guy at heart.

Educated in a small town
Taught the fear of Jesus in a small town
Used to daydream in that small town
Another boring romantic that's me

I was indeed taught the fear of Jesus in a small town. Boy howdy was I taught that! And the fear of God is certainly something that needs to be taught. But the rest of the story was not taught nearly as well. I wasn't taught the love of Jesus nearly as passionately as I was taught judgment and wrath.

Dr. Karl Barth was one of the most brilliant theologians of the twentieth century.  He wrote weighty volumes on faith.  A reporter once asked Dr. Barth if he could summarize what he had said in all of his voluminous works.  Dr. Barth thought for a moment and then said: "Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so." I wish we would default to that more in our journey.

No I cannot forget from where it is that I come from
I cannot forget the people who love me
Yeah I can be myself here in this small town
And people let me be just what I want to be

I cannot forget where it is I come from physically. That origin helps define me. Somehow I am prone to forget how desperate I was for grace and forgiveness. Paul reminds Titus to tell the believers in Crete to remember where they came from…

Remind the believers to submit to the government and its officers. They should be obedient, always ready to do what is good. They must not slander anyone and must avoid quarreling. Instead, they should be gentle and show true humility to everyone. Once we, too, were foolish and disobedient. We were misled and became slaves to many lusts and pleasures. Our lives were full of evil and envy, and we hated each other.  But—“When God our Savior revealed his kindness and love, he saved us, not because of the righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He washed away our sins, giving us a new birth and new life through the Holy Spirit. He generously poured out the Spirit upon us through Jesus Christ our Savior. Because of his grace he declared us righteous and gave us confidence that we will inherit eternal life.” This is a trustworthy saying, and I want you to insist on these teachings so that all who trust in God will devote themselves to doing good. These teachings are good and beneficial for everyone. Do not get involved in foolish discussions about spiritual pedigrees or in quarrels and fights about obedience to Jewish laws. These things are useless and a waste of time.  (Titus 3, NLT)

That is where I came from as a follower of Jesus. My constant challenge is to not forget where I came from.

    * If I can't forgive then I have forgotten where I came from and I have forgotten how much I have been forgiven.

    * When I look with disdain at another person I have forgotten where I came from. That person is a soul that Jesus loves. This I know for the Bible tells me so.

    * When I don't accept another brother or sister I have forgotten where I came from. I have forgotten that I was unacceptable to a Holy God and that Jesus I am acceptable because of Him. We must offer the same grace because of Jesus.

    * When I can't serve without expectation of personal return I have forgotten where I came from. If I remember where I came from I will serve because I am grateful for the amazing grace of Jesus.

    * When I don't give joyfully of my time and treasure I have forgotten where I came from. If you truly understand where you came from the natural response is to serve Him joyfully.

This is important stuff. I don't want to forget where I came from both as a person and as a child of God. My small town Chillicothe, Ohio roots are a big part of who I am. And my encounter with grace at the foot of the Cross defines who I am spiritually. I pray that I will remember every day who I am and where Jesus brought me from. I was born in a small town but I was redeemed by a big God.

Jesus loves me.
Jesus loves me.
This I know.

I never know which direction this weekly adventure known as the iPod Devotional will take me. The usual procedure is to grab dog friend Hannah, set the trusty iPod to shuffle and head out for a morning walk. I just walk until a song hits my heart or sense of humor. Today was both. The song that popped up is meaningful but recent context made me smile.

My pastor at Waterbrook Bible Fellowship in Wylie, Texas decided to preach a four week series from 1^st Corinthians, chapter seven. For reasons unknown Pastor Jeff Denton chose this on purpose. The text deals with sex in marriage, the sin of sex outside the marriage and the always fun topic of divorce. So when Andrew Peterson’s song “Dancing in the Minefields” cued up on the iPod today I thought of Pastor Jeff and chuckled. He has truly been dancing in cultural and relational minefields by addressing these difficult verses unflinchingly. His messages have been full of truth and grace. Both are needed in full measure to address such loaded topics. Have I mentioned he chose this series on purpose? But seriously, if the church cannot honestly and gracefully address these topics then our faith is limited in its relevance. I can assure you that Scripture does not shy away from tough topics. We are the squeamish ones that prefer Biblical texts that don’t meddle in our actual lives.

A good marriage is hard work. A great marriage is the hardest of all because it requires the equally selfless devotion of both parties. Peterson’s lyrics are powerful.

"I do" are the two most famous last words
The beginning of the end
But to lose your life for another I've heard
Is a good place to begin

'Cause the only way to find your life
Is to lay your own life down
And I believe it's an easy price
For the life that we have found

Laying down your life for another does not dovetail very well with a culture that screams that we “deserve” to be fulfilled and have a “right” to personal satisfaction and happiness. The cruel irony is that fulfillment, satisfaction and happiness are ultimately found in sacrifice, serving and giving. Andrew Peterson poetically captures the difficulty of this journey.

                                                                And we're dancing in the minefields
                                                                       We're sailing in the storm
                                                                  This is harder than we dreamed
                                                         But I believe that's what the promise is for

One of the points that Pastor Jeff made during his most recent message continues to rattle in my heart and mind. He has counseled hundreds of couples over his years of ministry. One of his observations convicted me not only in my marriage but in all of my relationships. Jeff noted that “it is never productive to be critical of your spouse”. I think most of us would agree that is true. But it is so easy when you spend so much time together to become critical of differences and idiosyncrasies that your mate possesses. The danger is mortal. Being critical of your spouse creates an opening for Satan that he will rarely pass up a chance to roar through.

It is not just marriage that criticism destroys. I can also do incredible damage in my community of believers by being critical. This has been a struggle for me because being critical comes quite easily to this wounded sojourner.

Grace is changing me. Slowly. Emphasis on slowly. I am learning to look at others through lenses of grace. To quote my friends from the book “The Cure” I am beginning to see my community of believers not as “sinners trying to become saints by more right behavior but saints who still sometimes sin”. It is an important distinction. We are all saints who are righteous because of Christ alone. We still sin. We need grace. All of us. So when my brother sins grace compels me to run toward him and not away. Grace does not allow me to condemn and judge. He needs grace to be restored as I will need that same grace soon. Likely very soon.

Paul wrote to the Church at Corinth about hardships and the message he received from the Lord.

              “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12, NLT)

I have come to know some of my fellow believers well enough to see what lies behind the Sunday morning mask. I see that they are insecure, needy, selfish and unpredictable. They are just like me. Jesus told the story of a father who runs to embrace his child who has made terrible mistakes. He doesn’t wait for them to crawl back and grovel. At the first turn of repentance he sprints to them and throws a party. That is grace. That is what a critical spirit destroys. Paul wrote this in the Epistle to the Colossians about having a spirit of love based on understanding the Good News.

For we have heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and your love for all of God’s people, which come from your confident hope of what God has reserved for you in heaven. You have had this expectation ever since you first heard the truth of the Good News. This same Good News that came to you is going out all over the world. It is bearing fruit everywhere by changing lives, just as it changed your lives from the day you first heard and understood the truth about God’s wonderful grace. (Colossians 1, NLT)

So I will dance in minefields of relationship with my bride, my family and my community. It is a dangerous place at times. And there is no place I would rather be.

I love the cynical mind of Scott Adams expressed through his Dilbert cartoon strip. A recent New Year’s Eve panel expressed the skepticism that Dilbert had for attaching meaning to the annual calendar rollover.

“I don’t celebrate the magical thinking that says one random point in the space-time continuum is somehow special.” – Dilbert

We do place a remarkable emphasis on the New Year as a specific point in time where we can resolve to do something better or something less or something not at all. I have resolved over the years to work out more, read all the way through the Bible, lose weight, be more organized (HAH!) and assorted other failed bits.

But there is power in the hope of change and new beginnings. A song by Jason Gray reminded me of the power of starting anew. Jason is rapidly becoming one of my favorite writers/singers for Christian lyrics. The lyrics from “I Am New” blessed me on the morning walk and serve as a template for the New Year journey.

Too long have I lived in the shadow of shame
Believing that there was no way I could change
But the one who is making everything new
Doesn't see me the way that I do
He doesn't see me the way that I do

I haven’t just lived in the shadow of shame. I have wallowed deep in the pooled up shame of past failures, broken vows and failed efforts to be more worthy of love. Then Jason reminded me again that the work is done. I am changed. I just need to believe and live out of that truth.

I am not who I was
I'm being remade
I am new
I am chosen and holy and I'm dearly loved
I am new

I am new. I can trust and live out of that truth on New Year’s Day or January 5^th or April 10^th or any other day. The point is we are new creations in Christ. The verse is familiar. Trusting it is hard.

This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! And all of this is a gift from God, who brought us back to himself through Christ. And God has given us this task of reconciling people to him. (2 Corinthians 5, NLT)

That is true every day of the year. Yet it can be so hard to believe and Satan makes it so hard to accept. The old tapes (digital recordings?) start playing whenever the old shame triggers are pulled.

“I am not enough.”
“I am a failure.”
“I don’t deserve His mercy.”

 Gray’s lyric addresses the truth of how God views me.

Now I won't deny
The worst you could say about me
But I'm not defined by mistakes that I've made
Because God says of me
I am not who I was
I'm being remade
I am new

Yep. All of the ugliness is true about me. I put all of my sin and shame on the table and Jesus gently says that is not who I am anymore. Is there any more freeing and joyful message to take into the New Year?

You may be correct Dilbert. Perhaps there is no special power in the random moment on the space-time continuum when the New Year begins. But there is amazing power in the redemptive work of Christ. I begin today, tomorrow and every day of 2012 with the knowledge that I am….

Forgiven, beloved
Hidden in Christ
Made in the image of the Giver of Life
Righteous and holy, reborn and remade
Accepted and worthy
This is (my) new name
This is who (I) am now...